Gravitas: What Is It? How Do I Get It?

By 11 October 2016 October 22nd, 2019 Behaviours, Confidence

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, too, is gravitas.

Talent Futures hosted an event for women entitled, Gravitas: So What Is It and How Do I Get It? Our guest speakers were Stephen G. Andress, a Senior Vice President at Northern Trust, and Kulbir Shergill, an award-winning Diversity and Inclusion consultant. The event was well attended.  In addition to the speakers, we had small group discussions and ended with a large-circle discussion on what we had concluded and learned from the evening. It was gratifying to host an event on such a serious and elusive topic, and yet to have it come off as “inclusive, engaging, and friendly” as one participant phrased it. Thanks to all of you who attended and who shared the invite to others.

I opened the evening with a few introductory remarks, and then we heard from Kulbir and Stephen. This blog shares a summary of the evening.

Kulbir Shergill

Kulbir’s main point about gravitas was that it is about what is inside you, and how you project that through your poise and speech. She spoke about being at ease with others and comfortable in your own skin. Those who are calm and measured, and assured of the value of their own contribution, are often said to have gravitas. Kulbir pointed out that when she was doing something that she really enjoyed, others had commented on her gravitas.  Score a point for positive psychology’s concept of being in flow!

She also pointed out that people with gravitas understand the social context and have something to say. And for her definition, she felt Michelle Obama was a good example. As First Lady, with all the poise and grace that requires, she is also able to comfortably let loose on television and sing along to the radio in a car with James Corden.  That takes a real sense of self!  Kulbir concluded that gravitas is being confident and kind, approachable not scary, poised, and above all, being yourself.

Stephen Andress

Steve approached the question, “What is gravitas?” through the lens of his military experience and having lived in different countries as an executive in financial services. While stating that gravitas is culturally dependent, he spoke to the things that he has seen are consistently considered gravitas. Confidence, the willingness to listen to others, and remaining calm in crisis were key themes. Those with gravitas always seem relaxed and in control of the situation, even when there are numerous fires to put out. (Nobody wants an hysterical leader!)

People with gravitas ask questions, ask others’ opinions, and respect others’ answers. They don’t feel the need to know it all themselves and remain open to others’ ideas. Unreliant on their title for authority, people with gravitas are thoughtful, do not rush to judgement, and spend a lot of time listening. They don’t do most of the talking. Steve concluded it is about being bigger than yourself. Specifically, offer solutions to others that are beyond your own interests, share credit, take disagreements offline, and take time to prepare for meetings. It is a long list, he admitted, but not everybody has everything. You just need enough, and most of it is about your relationships with others.


Following the presentations, we explored the themes of gravitas and trust, gravitas and authenticity, and the importance of cultural fit in your organisation.   We concluded that the standards and behaviours of gravitas will always vary from person to person.   They may indeed be different for women than for men, but all definitions seem to emphasize thoughtful relationships with others, and self-awareness.

Victoria Hall, Executive Coach
Founder of Talent Futures