Some people may SEEM confident, and others may actually BE confident, but most of us want to be MORE confident. How do we get there?
If we set ourselves the target of being more confident, it can seem a dauntingly impossible task. Some of us cite a lack of self-confidence as a reason we can’t or aren’t able to do something. We treat our lack of confidence as a hurdle that we know will trip us up every time. But it is actually the fact that we don’t try or take a risk that exacerbates a lack of confidence.
On the other hand, there are plenty of us who do take risks, even big risks, and still, painfully, feel a lack of confidence. Many leaders reach senior level but remain caught in this cycle.
They habitually put themselves in near impossible situations, succeed, and then move on to the next thing. Yet while their successes rack up behind them as they climb the corporate ladder, their level of confidence is hung up on a much lower rung. This continual pattern of big risk, hard work, and resulting achievement is about proving the self TO the self. Yet it never seems to work. Why can’t some of us OWN our achievements and feel a boost to the self-esteem?
It is as if we are biting into success, but not allowing ourselves to really taste it and be nourished by it.
Last night I spoke at the Genesis Women’s Network on Confidence and Personal Impact. It was a lively evening and we had a great discussion. My key message to those in attendance was Confidence is an OUTCOME that is gained through H.O.P.E. Over several posts I’ll be expanding on some of the ideas from the evening.
Think about someone you admire who is confident. Chances are you could also describe that person as Happy, Optimistic, Purposeful, and Energetic. If we can build these aspects into our lives, then confidence does follow. But how to go about that? For each part of H.O.P.E. I will be sharing with you practical ways from experts that are proven to work. And if you can build these practical ways into your daily life, you will experience a change in your mindset, renewed focus in your career, and greater fulfillment. These things have worked for many of my clients and for me personally.
So give yourself a break from worrying about self-confidence, and focus instead on your H.O.P.E. quotient. First up next time will be about building Happiness into our lives each day through the ABCs of self-determination theory.
Until then, warm regards,
Victoria
